In this article I will be discussing ways you can come out as trans to family and friends and will be discussing trans coming out experiences along with trans realization stories. Being trans is such a beautiful and empowering experience, it creates an environment where you must embrace yourself and who you are deep inside the closet. When coming out we form an outward perception of ourselves that we want to communicate with others, yet the presentation of this communication can have an impact on the responses we receive, later in this article I will discuss with other trans people how they came out and their thoughts on this topic. Coming out as trans is a very dangerous and risky thing to do, especially as the violence against trans people currently rising, it is hard to know who to trust and where to go when you have come out. Please only come out when you are 100% sure of yourself and ready, and in a safe environment to do so as some situations aren’t trans friendly.
One way to come out as trans is in the form of a card. I did this myself to come out to my family. You can write as much as you want in the card however, I recommend gradually warming your family and friends up to the idea instead of info-dumping them with a lot of new information as this can lead to a drastic response that doesn’t necessarily equate to how family and friends may feel. I used a baby’s gender reveal card and crossed out incorrect words. This is just one way of using a card to come out you can personalize any cards of your choosing. Just try to keep in mind that it should be simple and not overbearing.
“It’s like seeing the light for the first time”
Another way to come out as trans is by sitting down and talking to the person, I recommend doing this individually as a group mindset can sway people’s opinions in the moment. Ways of wording this could be “I have known for a while, and I think this is the right time to tell you that I am trans” and give then more information about yourself. This is kind of like a new introduction, as coming out as trans is rewriting people perceptions of yourself, which can be tedious and extensive. Think of this way as a new chapter of sorts with this person. This is obviously just a basic example so feel free to make this more personal to you and unique.
You could come out as trans with a performance if you are theatrical like myself. This could be done in several ways, you could sing a trans song, you could reintroduce yourself with your preferred name and pronouns, there is so much you could do with this. Again, this is going to be unique to yourself.
Some people prefer more indirect ways of coming out like sending a text message, however coming out as trans is such a personal and integral part of your journey I feel like coming out over text doesn’t feel as important and special.
Responses. People will have different responses to someone coming out as trans so be prepared for anything, whether it be a negative reaction, a confused reaction, or a happy reaction, you will not know someone’s reaction until you see it. In my own experiences I have some across what I like to call “fake allies” where they will support the LGBT community as a performance of sorts. For example, say we have this person named tiffany, tiffany might repost gay posts and say they support the community but when it comes to actively supporting the community in their own life, they will look the other way and/or be unsupportive. If you receive a negative response, remember that others don’t define your gender and neither do appearances, you define your own gender. IF you also find yourself in a toxic environment due to negative responses regarding coming out, I encourage you to seek help and if needed contact the necessary services.
Trans Experiences.
My own experience with finding my own journey. When I first realized I was outside the gender binary was probably when I was about 6, I just remember thinking to myself “I’m not a girl, maybe a boy? Yes, I am boy” Which I then proceeded to bury, having been taught gender stereotypes by the media, so when I would act feminine, I would then believe that my feelings are invalid due to my actions and preferences. Later came to learn that my actions and my preferences don’t equal my gender, and only I, my mind, and my feelings do. But when I truly saw the light so to say was in 2020 after Yungblud released his Life on Mars? Music video which I found when “trying to become a better ally to the community” is what I told myself. Watching the video winded me, it made me realize that the experiences I hadn’t found a language for just got translated, trans-mutated so to say, into a new format in which I can express myself in. After this I really started to think about who I am, which then morphed into waves, tsunamis even, of dysphoria which really told me who I was. Having found who I was I decided to come out to friends after a few months of knowing myself, I got positive responses which then lead me to come out to my parents. I did this in the form of a card. Instead of the card saying IT’S A BOY! And its as perfect as can be! it now said, I’M A BOY! And I’m as perfect as can be. Not knowing how to word the card I basically info-dumped who I am inside and was talking about transitioning. This obviously didn’t go so well as it was kind of overbearing. When telling friends, I knew I had to be careful as I’ve experienced the pure amount of transphobia social media and the public around me had to offer. Coming out for me personally was the most brutal yet most beautiful thing I have done as I now almost recognize my reflections and have found myself to be somewhat comfortable in my own mind. It’s like finding the light, you didn’t know it was there until you saw it.
Here is a YouTube tutorial made by us just a couple ways you could come out!
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